Questions…comments…concerns

I would like to discuss a very important topic…

Why do women, sometimes men (but rarely) bash the happiness of others because they have yet to attain or find  theirs?

What do I mean? when you take to social media, bashing there is no good men, I thought I was happy, love doesn’t really exist, marriage is a joke….etc

No sweety… see Love is real, marriage can work, we don’t go out blaming you guys for your failed relationships, we work at ours. It  seems to carry through so many people’s statuses and updates and comments… they cannot even be genuinely happy for others because they stay commenting on something they know nothing about…

Love isn’t a high school puppy love thing…

It is a dedicated commitment to one another to put each other first, to care for, support, be there for the other person always… to be understanding, selfless, kind, patient (even when we grow tired and weak)… Love is finding ways to keep things fresh and fun, to find new ways to grow together, to do things together 

It is finding ways to be happy off the  grid…

One true tip about success is you keep your growth, changes, good things to yourself… as to keep people guessing but not hating or interfering with you… marriage/ relationships has to be the same… keep your fights to yourselves  your disagreements between you, your triumphs to yourselves. it saves 3rd party opinions and unnecessary nonsense keeping the relationship intact from others.

Feel free to comment.

Had to share, see way too much of this even with family and close friends.

Dont complain bout your man today and how he is awful then expect us to believe hes amazing tomorrow… keep it to yourself.

Preserve your genuine relationship  from the outside wworl and it may just have a chance to survive..

No job, no baby, no changes

Another day in the world….and the life of Zory.
Waited almost a year to be ready to reapply to a job, that I much deserve… to be shot down by the oddest way possible. They make choices locally, deliver news locally, but had HR in Lord knows where call in the middle of my work day to my personal phone. Which we aren’t allowed to have. 
Long story short,because i didnt bow down and suck up to the powers that be, i am being passed up. I have worked ocer the past 5 months training people for the job i did not get, doesnt seem to make sense does it?

This is but 1 in the many injustices of the world  i will take iti1n stride, but the record has been set. The motions have begun…i will not sit idly by….
On a personal note another month making it 7 now, no family growth occuring.

Fear of moving on..

This summer, took us on a not so Hawaiian rollercoaster ride…

We had joys and excitement, and as quickly as we adjusted to new changes, there came devastating changes that took place.
I honestly don’t think i have dealt with the loss of a pregnancy,  i never in a million years thought i would experience it and feel it so deeply.

I look at the happy expecting mothers all around me, while I rejoice for them.genuinely, i also think to myself how that isnt me right now

 How my world changed upside down,  the moment the drs confirmed my greatest fear. We decided we’d embrace whetever came our way, but i wasnt ready for this… my heart simply wasn’t ready for a loss. My nights are sad and my heart though full of love for my 1 daughter, hurts for the lost possibility we had with this unborn baby. I long for and desire nothing more than to obtain my very own rainbow baby, bur each passing month is a reminder of what I dont have and wont be having in the near future. Its heart wrenching…

Needing to write out my emotions, is crucial for me. Processing life is hard, but when you are of a creative mind, words spoken often times arent easy, to me writing is my spoken word.

And still i rise, i hope and have faith of whats to come…

Another month, no change…

I shared with you previously we lost a baby last June… we have been harboring hope that everything reset and wed be sharing happy news, but again another month and no news.

I long for this greatly, and each passing month, i feel like I am spiraling into sadness that no one in my family can understand. I feel alone, i feel weak, i feel helpless, my body was to be this carriage of life, and it is not doing so. My heart grows heavy with each passing month, and i am becoming unable to control it. Emso many happy news around me, and i keep waiting…..

Dear Sister,

I have been there always, ready to guide, to support and love unconditionally.

This is something its taken me months to be able to share…

In your moment of sadness, of pain, of sorrow, of worry, i lacked words, because my heart broke right with yours. As i rejoiced with you, i too suffered your pain, doubly, because i suffered your worries, and those of my own heart. I prayed for you more than myself or my own, i relished every set of good news, and worried terribly as more news awaited. This has been your journey, i could only watch from the sidelines, but know that no matter where i was i thought of you, prayed for you,  and then came the day of rejoicing.
My heart grew a million times that day, a day which will be in your memory forever, because when you rejoice i rejoice, when you weep i weep, and when we struggle, we all feel it.

I want you to know how important you are, how much i care, how much i will always be there. 

I am blessed to have more of you, unique sensitive souls that brighten my life….

Forever your sister, forever a friend.

Babies, life, death and everything in between

‚ÄčI would like to share an experience i have recently lived through, that I feel women dont share…not often enough anyway.this week we confirmed our suspected fears, we lost a baby via miscarriage. We had hopes of expanding our family, we still harbor hope and believe if it is meant to be it will be. I have been experiencing a plethora of emotions… but among all of this we felt peace and harbor hope of trying again. I am fine, my family is fine and we are blessed beyond measure. If God sees it fit to bring us another member of the family we will gladly welcome it. 
So in light of so many hurtful events this week, the bottom line is that Life is more precious than we know, or sometimes even think of. Life is but a fleeting moment in whicb we can make the best of it snd enjoy each second, or we can waste it harboring hate and other raw emotions that do not contribute to the thread of human kind. Fear is driving us apart as a human race, rather than love bring us together. Fear is becoming the gateway to hate, we are not discussing it, we are turning a blind eye and the problem.is growing, its escalating, and its consuming our nation.

We fear the different, but our forefathers fought so we could all be seen the same, were backtracking rather than progressing. So please harbor hope, love, kindness, peace,  grace and mercy not fear, hate, distrust of others.

My little secret…

Not any of my family reads this blog….
So i think im safe in sharing…
Were expecting… again.
Second child… or children perhaps.
We have a high chances of multiples in our families. Praying all is well, both baby and me are healthy. Wish us well upon this new journey we revisit.

Ta-ta for now!

 

—Update—-

Yesterday i spent 5hrs in the ed. Some cramping and bleeding occurred, my pregnancy hormone was very low. We are determining if this could actually come.to fruition. I had no issues with my 1st. Now as a 30yr old, 2nd timer, i am terrified. Feel like my body has failed me in the 1 task i asked it to do right.

 

-update-

2 weeks since my ed trip, it is confirmed we experienced a miscarriage. Hormone levels dropped substantially… we now await the reset of my body to be able to try again.

Hope remains.

Heart lingers in the what could’ve been, but mind knows better things to come await.