Rejoined the Workforce

Covid-19 is kicking our asses here in CT. We’ve been quarantined for weeks and it continues to grow. I was out of work for 2 weeks, due to high risk. They did extend the leave for me automatically however growing stir crazy, I asked again if they’d allow me to work from home. Finally they said yes. So yesterday I went back into my office building which generally houses 700 people yesterday it held but a few dozen people. My team was half gone. The rest leaving yesterday to work from home too. I am grateful for having a job that covered me and paid me while adjusting this. Making changes to our process on the fly. Banking is no joke friends we literally never shut down and this covid kicked us into gear.

Good luck to you all. Blessings

And…there goes another one

Anyone else feel like this year has been a giant blur. Seriously nothing good has come of it as of yet.

January we started w consolidating debt and chemo treatments for a loved one.

February was just settling out more things and just playing catch up still with Holidays.

March was a blur of dates, closures and the. Baby turned 2 but we couldn’t do anything or go anywhere. And then Bam its April.

I think the April fool’s joke is this covid19 and the quarantine that wont end anytime soon.

I love being home, blessed enough to still be paid, but this is crazy. Can a Girl get a cup of coffee or salad and be able to enjoy it in peace. Lol. Grateful for our health and grateful we are safe thus far. But man could I use a good chiropractor visit, 2hr massage and 4hr nap without hearing yelling babies in the background. Just saying mama needs some Me time. I am running on an empty tank here.

Hubby works in healthcare Hospital, meaning he continues to withdraw the Little adult human interaction day by day for fear of bringing anything to us. But my tank is running low and I am nearing breaking or so it feels like. Some days I feel refreshed. This is not one…

Hope you can remain hopeful, happy, safe, healthy throughout this. Remember the many blessings and stay the course. While our journeys may vary to some degree we are All in this together.

Mental Space…

Hello, hope this post finds you well. Healthy, happy, safe, surrounded by loved ones. May you be financially stable and blessed by all measures.

I don’t know about you, but this Covid is kicking my butt…I have been home now for 11 consecutive days, and I gotta tell you my brain is wearing thin, my patience is low. I am beginning to feel helpless. My mind is not ok, and It is reflecting itselt outwards towards my family. I don’t like it, but I also literally cannot help it. I go from happy to snapping at everything in 2 seconds. Anyone wrestling with this lack of Personal Mental space?

Everywhere I turn there is someone. Husband or kids. Someone wants or needs something at all times it feels like. I barely get any time to myself and I am mentally drained unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life.

I will seek resources from work this week, I am not working due to High Risk conditions and thankfully work for a company that is paying for this. I feel unproductive and it is affecting me in all senses of my being. I am a woman of Faith so prayers are lifted daily multiple times, but In human land, I am struggling. I am annoyed to the point where I don’t desire to connect with anyone. I want to retreat and be alone. With several weeks ahead, I fear this will progressively get worse.

If you have felt or are feeling this way. What have you done? I tried telling my husband and he looked at me like I had 3 heads. He is working reluctantly but he gets out. He can drive alone and have his own time. Even at home. He plays video games and enjoys his own personal space without being interrupted… meanwhile I just want to cry.

Anyone got tips? Words? Something? A girl could use any words. Thanks.

Stay strong friends. Stay safe. We are all in this together. And if were All alone. Were together in that too.

Surviving 2020

We started this thing called 2020 with so much hope and excitement. As each week progresses it is evident what we hoped for and what IS are 2 very different things.

Reality being this year has short of kicked our asses. Business is slow, sickness has struck, everything is a mess. Nothings smooth or easy, nothings flowing naturally. Everything feels like a chore, a big busy to do list that never ends.

Covid 19 was that extra bullet this year needed to beat us into submission. We still yearn and hope for better things, because faith has stayed strong, but sone days when exhaustion kicks in, its hard to see or hope for what is ahead.

I hope you are all coping and feeling better than all this, i pray you remain healthy and steadfast on your goals for 2020. We can still make it happen. I believe in us all

If you’re UNhappy go ahead post it… *NOT*

Guys…PSA… plain and simple, if you are Unhappy with where your life is going, YOU are in control of the choices and decisions that have led you there… or will get you Out. I mean we all have a Vent moment where we put out in the world things to be validated that we are not crazy… bit every single moment of every day we shouldn’t #fakehappiness i mean really, there should be things, people, events, happenings that bring some sort of Joy into our lives… if not friend, please Evaluate your life and Find your joy. It isn’t just a “catchphrase” we use to tidy up our homes. It is a true statement for our soul… finding our Joy means finding the center and developing our happiness from that. So Please do not go on a rant every day, internalize and get better. I’ll pray for you… that you find Joy. Everyone deserves Joy.

To the women who “claim” men only to destroy them…

This is but one side of the coin, as Men surely use and abuse women too…

This however is a message to my fellow ladies… those who are quick to lockdown a guy with Zero interest in his person. The women who sweet talk a guy only to use him up and move on to the next, meanwhile these men become consumed by all these women are…

I have met several men, along with several of their respective at one point or current partners, and it is just mind boggling to me how women can be so conniving and manupulative to someone they claim they Love or Loved in the past. I come in peace with one request…

Next time you find your new catch, that you will wildly consume and use up to their last drop of energy and last penny, think of this… what if this young man was your Brother? Your son? Your nephew? Your cousin? Would you be proud of how someone else would treat them as YOU would? Because I see here women setting awful patterns of what a Good relationship is not just for their Sons but also for their daughters, to be conniving and abusive partners. Being in a one sided relationship which everything works for Your benefit only, ladies, is not a true relationship. There is no more rewarding relationship than that which we each give 100% each. Using them up to just keep them dangling is not ok, using your kids to harm and hurt them is also not ok, using the kids to manipulate situations to your favor is not ok. Anything short of Actually Loving and wanting to be with a Person, is NOT ok.

I speak on this because I have met several Great guys. No not perfect, but they have been decent, upstanding guys, working guys who love their kids, who fight every day to make moves to better their kids Futures, be belittled, manipulated and just straight up struck down by bitter cold hearted women. For any of these men, I can’t fathom what they felt was “good” in these relationships, they’ve been given a false sense of security and I feel for them, simply because they fell for the rouse… my heart breaks for them

They opened their hearts up to try and find love that reciprocates and instead found the pits on hell in a womans heart.

Men can do things just as wrong, but we’ve grown to expect less emotional connection with men so their selfish actions are “justified”, women however are the nurturing sex, and yet can be the most detrimental force we can encounter when they Don’t love but Use and Manipulate.

So I implore you, ladies, think before you hurt him, before you use him, before you wreck him beyond anyone else’s love could possibly repair. Think, leave and let them be. Do not use kids as weapons of destruction, but rather love and let go. Or simply Let go in some cases where love never was. Remembering our beloved men in our lives, would you like You to be a part of their lives? Would you like meeting you? If not change the course… make it happen now.

Simple Lesson

Something that you should all remember, people only share the Great moments. However it’s all the stuff in between that makes them worthwhile.

They aren’t perfect and you aren’t worse off. So do not compare yourself on a bad day to someone’s great day, they easily could’ve been where you are just yesterday but did not share that bit of information.

Living every day with gratitude is the best way to ensure even on the challenging days, we find good.

Xoxo friends. Stay awesome.