Being awakened, being brought up to believe in greater things….
While struggling to understand your role in this world, in this life, in this journey.
Finding the fact that you need to cut ties with ones you love and care for…
To be able to focus and wondering How you got anything done before..
Struggling to get to the realization you have been ignoring a calling to ministry for a few years…
Years, time, wasted trying to stay away….
Trying to move to other things…
Learning that skills you have acquired will only improve your ministry, but still waiting to find the right starting place.
Daily ponderings, worries, thoughts…
What do you Ponder?
We go round and round, up and down this emotional taxing rollercoaster…
Every day a new tale, a new story, a new challenge.
I am exhausted, worn down, feeling empty.
Filling everyone else’s love tank, caring , being there for everyone at all times… meanwhile no one is truly available for me, to listen to me, to hear my pleas…
Exhausted, tired, run down i gp round and round this merry go round.
Someone help me. Find me. Hear me.
Have you ever known someone who just doesn’t appreciate the people they have in their lives?
These people who tread on earth as if it was created specifically for them with no regard for anyone else for anything else or any other purpose. These are the men and women that take their significant others for granted, that take friendship for granted, that take family for granted.
These are the oblivious beings that walk around as if they own the world, but have no idea how to contribute anything of value or purpose to the world. I have known a few of the people, one in particular close to someone that I love dearly.
This person takes advantage, take control , and takes until there is nothing but a shell of a person sitting next to them. These individuals like these that create a sense of anger in me, to see and watch the injustices unfold before my eyes is completely heartbreaking.
To see good people hurt because of the wrong doings of another, to see love unrequited and unreturned, to see the despair and longing in my loved one’s eyes simply seeking approval, seeking love and compassion, meanwhile all they receive in exchange for the love is reprimand, hate, anger and rejection.
To know that the effort put forth by one person can be so easily outweighed by monetary or physical things is another reason for me to be angry and resentful. I am NOT one typically to blame, to call people out, or to say anything like this in public because I respect and love those around me and as a hopeless romantic I hope and desire for the best outcome. I hope find the good in all people, but let’s be honest all people are not good. Sadly in my experience the not good I knew from the beginning, but even still a wolf in sheep’s clothing made its way into my life.
So while I will wait the final outcome I asked for positive and reinforcing jobs to be sent my way. Because surely the days to come will be more difficult and more challenging to react in a commonly and rational manner.