Married???

In all the journeys I have taken in my life…

There have been many challenging ones, I am a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a Mommy, but I am also a Wife.

Relationships- MOST of which We are born into via our family units…but that Marital Status- WE choose.

I chose 9 years ago to be with someone who made me feel alive.

Today that feeling is a bit different, some may wonder if this means its bad, or gone wrong.

Today- I came home, I gave a quick tap kiss to the man who has been waiting for me all day (He works nights now).

I barely spoke two words to him, had a crappy day at work, he tries to probe but sees I am not up for it, so he gives me space.

This man, I have woken up next to for six and a half years, a boy who grew into the man I know today.

We have both come such a long way, we have grown so much as a couple, but also individually.

Since our journey began, we both went to school, I got my degree, he went and got certified for Videography, We became parents, we became adults together.

In all the years I have known him, my tears still compel him, they bring him down to his more sensitive being, I can also rile him up and drive him crazy, (i know it too and sometimes I push his buttons to cause a reaction)….

It’s been six and a half years of wedded “bliss”, Whoever called it BLISS was telling you the biggest lie in the universe.

CHOOSING to be Married, takes on a whole new meaning when you go in NOT believing it Should ever end.

I married this man of mine, I vowed forever.

The Good the bad the ugly the dirty all OF it I signed up for.

Sure each marriage has its own quirks…

Each marriage as unique as the two hearts that decide to enter into it.

So as I type this I laugh to myself, because I know how ridiculous some people may feel, when they truly believe it will always last… the butterflies. the love letters. the hearts and flowers, yea all that crap ends…. it dies with day to day repetition, routines, responsibilities and every day requirements.

In my marriage we both have always worked, which means we share a lot of the home work load, and often times our WORK zone is never unified. Its usually one is ready to CLEAN house and the other is not.

We have a daughter who requires more attention that any pile of dishes.

We have alternate work schedules. he works nights, i work days. our evenings are split between chores, baby and trying to squeeze some time of intimate conversation/activities before Im too tired or he goes to work.

I felt like writing about us….

I felt i wanted to share what you do find in marriage…

Marriage is work, constant babysitting of the relationship.

It requires a lot of maintenance and spot checks, it requires commitment from all parties, it requires time, it requires no fighting, no hassles, no nagging.

It is a tender relationship balance, in which two people dance the dance of Love.

In my Husband, I have found someone who can drive me absolutely insane, but he also pushes me to be better. to try harder to be optimistic. He shows me a side of things I dont normally see, he helps me to keep things light and also reels me in when I start to lose myself. He helps to make sense of this chaotic thing we call Life. Sometimes he does it all without saying a word, his touch, his embrace, his sighs when he holds me at night, all make me feel like I have a safe haven with him.

He is my HOME button. He is my supporter and I am his. We arent perfect, but WHO is?!

We went into this thing, much younger, much inexperienced, and I’d say we are holding our own out here in Married land.

I love him, each and every day for so many different reasons, some days it is uniquely relevant that This Man I married, truly was meant to be mine.

Our marriage vowed before God, and our family and friends, has been a great blessing, and as you lovebirds out there seek love. fear not for the rough times, but rejoice in the happy moments in every moment in between.

I once heard- all the happy photos is what you capture, but its the difficult times in between each photo that make Those Happy Captured memories worthwhile.

So struggle on, but have faith that in the end, what is meant to be, will be.

Who you choose to be…

In every day life, we make decisions…

We make choices.

Choices that impact those around us, the people, places and things we interact with daily…

Choices that impact how we see ourselves,

how we feel about ourselves, and what we hope for…

In each day, may you find the inner light to lead you down your path of righteousness…

May you find your inner peace

May you find your inner confidence in yourself

May you find your self acceptance

All we ever hoped for, all we ever want in life is…

to be wrapped up in the moments that matter.

Let’s actively make decisions to be the people we aspire to be

Let’s actively make choices that brings us joy, love, happiness, peace, and self acceptance.

Each day is a struggle, each day has it’s own issues, but in the end it all comes down to…

The choices we make.

Today I choose to be the very best ME I can be.

What we need…to be wanted

In a world where we tend to lose ourselves…our way…our hearts..our minds…
Here is a simple reminder to my people working in a relationship…
If you’re not working on it…investing time…love…effort… You gave up.
The greatest need of a human being is that of being and needing to feel Wanted.

The first love phase… Is where we invest so much effort and energy but…
What happens once you got that person in your life…
You stop…you no longer make them feel wanted… You take for granted…
You void all that linked your hearts and attracted you to each other…and you stopped trying.

Advice…
Do unto others as you want done to you.
You want to have someone make you feel wanted…make them feel special and wanted and start the revolution in your relationship. A positive impact that can influence and impact the outcome of your relationship.

Nothing makes you feel empty like feeling…unwanted…unimportant…insignificant.

So let’s make the change.
Let’s ignite love…passion for the people we so love in our lives…
Not just marriage/dating but every relationship needs.to feel wanted.
Let’s open our hearts to make a positive impact in their lives…

All I ever wanted…is to make you feel wanted.

The Struggle is real…

The struggles to be a better person…

Whenever I feel like I am just over trying and doing things, comes a shove so hard I have no choice…

but to move forward and push toward a new level of self discovery.

Finding oneself in the midst of helping others find themselves, love themselves, value and appreciate themselves is not an easy feat. It is rather a daunting task of selfless giving and listening…

Listening, and more listening, If the Lord knew what he did when he created listening, I think it is like a secret JOKE he played on us people. Listen up- It  is the hardest TASK to focus on intently. To actively listen is a skill.

To Listen and not be trying to answer, solve, fix or resolve the matter in your mind or with your words is a skill.

Meanwhile finding yourself to be in a place to bring others to a new level of self acceptance and a new level of passion and encouragement to go out and create positive impact is a task as well.

I have attained a new role, but it is not really NEW, it’s new in the sense that I actually will be DOING what I was supposed to be doing 100% of the time, if that makes any sense to anyone out there.

I find myself challenged to be lazy, and my spirit wanting heavily to be active and ready to get things done.

I find myself referring back to a book I read back in 2009-2010 Extravagant Worship, I want to be an Extravagant Worshipper, I want to render all accounts to God and let his spirit guide me, so while I embark on this journey of growth and development I invite you to join me and grow with me.

What have you wanted to do, and have not DONE out of fear, laziness, or just because you just didnt get around to it, Let’s do this together! Let’s get active spiritually and let’s see the changes come to play in our lives. Big Things are to come and I know we can be a part of that!