The tribe grew by one more..

Ten tiny fingers

Ten tiny toes

One little button nose

Two little eyes

A head full of cute hair

Little small. Little short.

Nonetheless a little man for all of us to fawn over and just fall head over heels.

Baby A. You had a buddy, but they wait in Heaven, but you came early, you came on strong and stealing our hearts is your number 1 task.

We love you so much already, it has been 1 week.

Xoxo

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To my bad As$ sister…

It has been a week…

A week since it was matters of life and death with regard to you…

In every moment I have been there to witness you being the strongest and bravest person I know.

You let doctors poke and prod you like you are some kind of science project.

You allow it all for the benefit of your babies.

You have withstood difficult messages and experiences during pregnancy, you have lost a baby, you have been at risk.

I am so proud of you little sister, I thank God for you. I am amazed by your strength when you literally have nothing left, by you brave heart to do everything it takes to make sure your littles are safe. You are a preemie mommy twice over now and I think that everything you do is remarkable.

My niece and nephew have the best mommy in the world. She would literally give the clothes off her back to ensure their safety and wellbeing. Through pain and sorrow you push through because you know they need you.

I love you.

When people forget their words…

Recently I experienced what some could refer to as reverse dejavu. I remembered vividly a flashback and the person who was there living it didn’t even recall their words. Making me seem like a crazy lunatic.

I dont always remember everything, but something that made me feel fiercely some type of way remains engrained in my mind forever. I recall the words lashing out at me over a reasonable request, then I get put in positions I dont care for, due to the inconsiderate memories of others.

I wont argue. I wont push you to remember. I just hope you recall and feel badly for pitting me into predicaments over ignorant selfish actions. People quickly forget when they need things to be convenient for them.

My my my let’s see what comes of this…

Day 2 of 2019

Return to work after a day off is always like a punch square in the gut.

After a dreaded alarm ring, day took off seamlessly. 1 husband up 2 kids ready and 1 car loaded up. 1 work day full of questions and questions and emails and questions and emails and more questions. Get it?

Today of all days my husband was mandated to stay at work for a double shift. Needless to say I prayed his kidney stone wouldn’t move while he was stuck at work.

Day 2. Was busy. Hectic, rushed. But it felt normal. Productive and useful. I am not upset at feeling busy. It’s better that way.

My knees were locking all day, surgeries cant come soon enough. I really gotta get to scheduling those.

Wish you all an awesome 2019.

May each day count.

Year end, New Beginnings

As years close, we tend to live vicariously through the memories we most recall and relive the great moments. Sometimes it also reminds us of the sad moments.

2018 was a year of challenges and changes and I am happy to report we survived fairly unscathed. It brought us the birth of our 2nd born, and it brought me a new niece. It brought us a new home, new opportunities at work and most importantly it brought us closeness we had been lacking

2019 I hope you bring with you kindness, love, generosity, success and most of all hope. As for all things worth waiting for we often need the hope of believing that our wishes and goals will come to pass.

The final week of 2018 kicked our asses. We had collectively bronchitis, stomach flu, kidney stones, and torn meniscus injuries flaring up. The struggle was truly real to make it to work and to do all that needed be done this past week.

We made it, we made New Year’s a fun experience for now we long for better days, free of sickness and exhaustion and just filled with fun and excitement.

Hope your new year is filled with amazing things.

Best wishes.

Z

Merry Holidays to You…

So… it has come to the end of the 2018 road. We have a few days left. Christmas is behind us… I’d like to share a bit about Christmas and some random tid bit ideas that rambled in my head.

1. Why do jobs make people work a Christmas day or eve shift. I know retail blah blah blah, but honestly wouldnt everyone be more joyful to have loved ones near rather than working

2. Moms are the makers of Christmas magic, and damn it no one gives them credit. Moms work, shop, wrap, dress, cook, clean and prep for this day like it is our superbowl. I mean I have a torn meniscus on each knee and I shopped and wrapped like a boss. All to make magic happen and be felt in my home. My oldest knows its us and not Santa but it still makes her morning magical for me to go above and beyond and make it fun. Moms are amazing and while some dads do help. I feel we dont show nearly enough love to our True Christmas elves the mommas.

3. When did we lose sight of the true meaning behind the giving. We give gifts like the 3 wise kings gave gifts to the little Lord Jesus. We make things so big and out of proportion. My kids got small needs and wants. Some as simple as a cursive writing book. Nothing but smiles all around

4. Kindness isnt seasonal, people lose their shit around the holidays, if you are going Into debt to make Christmas happen, DONT. It is not worth financial ruin to buy shit people wont use or play with for 5 minutes or less. Give time, love, shared experiences. Make memories not trash.

5. New years Resolutions are upon us, I set new Goals, not resolution. Goals require planning and procedure. Goals are meant to be met no matter what.

6. I feel drained and no one seems to notice. I need surgery, and it doesnt feel like people are supportive of my recovery. Then I get in trouble for forcing things on myself to get things done even with injuries.

7. My babys 1st Christmas was amazing. She is 9mos and loved every second of gift wrap ripping and toy playing she got. Loved the magical feel a baby brings back.

How was your holiday? Any exciting news?

In a world full of people, choose to be Yourself

Today in America, there is so much excess.

Excess stuff, Excess technology, Excess Hate, Excess Fear, Excess media, Excess mulling about in other people’s business.

We find ourselves bombarded by media, by news, by socialites of the world, by good, by bad, by so much filtering, and we find ourselves believe WE are inadequate.

We see things happen around Us, and we fail to react, we fail to feel. We are too busy wondering what if, what if they hear me, see me, know me, talk about me…

SO WHAT?! let people talk, let people see, let people hear, YOU are amazing, You are Unique, you are the only YOU there is. If you deprive the world of your beautiful and unique essence how will there ever be record of YOU. Live your live, love people, love Yourself, Let people hear you speak, sing, laugh, argue, fight, let people See you dance, talk, perform, chat, Let the world experience you. I assure you in reality the vast majority of people around you are far too self involved to care what you do, but for those few people who remain Connected to People and not technology, they will get to experience ALL that you are and will be better people for it.

I was never one to speak up, act out, participate in things where I may be seen, yet I have been put in places and positions where Everyone notices me. One thing I can share is sometimes it still makes me uneasy and weirded out, but so many more times it comes back to me in waves of positivity, people touched by my words, songs, encouragement, leadership.

id never dreamed of being where I am, or ever even starting to write a blog like I did years ago. Sure a few people only view it, but still expressing my thoughts where someone else can comment on them, was never my move. it was never my plan, sometimes we have to go out into the world and move mountains, be the change, make the change. Sometimes we have to be bold enough to Choose to be OURSELVES, not some carbon copy of someone else.

 

Choose to be YOU always and forever, there is no one better.

Some may be quicker, wittier, smarter, but NONE will ever have the essence that you bring and that brings people Joy. If you were different you’d probably have different people in your life, those who are near you love you for YOU. So keep being that person.

xo